Haunt
by onekisstotakewithmex
Summary: When Rachel comes to visit again, memories are stirred up for Gibbs. The dead don't have to be ghosts to haunt us. Kibbs, season 14 fic, Happy Halloween.


"Gibbs, you'll never guess who our victim's psychologist was." Bishop called, walking in.

The team looked up, as Bishop escorted Dr. Rachel Cranston into the bullpen.

"Doc," Gibbs grinned, but as usual his heart ached at how much she looked like her sister. She looked healthy, and not nearly so haunted as she had the first time they had met.

"Rachel." Tim walked around his desk and hugged her. She glanced over him, and grinned, and it really reminded Gibbs of her sister. Of his Katie.

"What's this I hear about you getting engaged, Tim?"

"Yeah, Delilah and I are getting married."

"Congratulations, Tim. You better invite me." She did a double take, "And you're in Tony's desk."

"Aw Doc, just congratulate him and leave him alone." Gibbs teased.

She smiled over at him.

"Is it just me?" Nick asked, looking at Alex, "Or are you confused too?"

"This is Kate's sister." Tim continued.

"… Who's Kate?" Alex asked first, exchanging a look with Nick. He raised his eyebrows.

Tim and Gibbs exchanged a look.

"Kate." Gibbs said, standing up. "Special Agent Caitlin Todd, that is."

"Sorry boss," McGee was suddenly abashed, and Alex raised an eyebrow quizzically.

"Is there a sob story involved?" Nick asked.

Alex punched him on the shoulder, "You're just mean. Didn't you ever go to sensitivity training?"

"What? I'm confused!"

Alex looked over at Gibbs, settling on him as the one to ask. "She was a former Secret Service agent, attached to the Presidential detail. I convinced her to come work for me. God, she was… a good agent."

Tim chimed in, "She died in the line of duty."

Rachel cleared her throat, "She was my baby sister, and had too much of a saviour complex."

"Sounds like Kate," Tim agreed. "Jumping in the way of bullets."

"Because she couldn't stay out of a fight," Gibbs rolled his eyes.

"And she always had your back," McGee's voice had changed.

"What did she look like?" Alex asked.

"Yeah, I'm curious now." Nick added.

"Uh," McGee walked behind his desk, "I can probably find a picture in her file, hang on…"

Gibbs stopped them all, as he pulled out his wallet, and took out a faded photo, handing it to Alex.

She looked it over, staring at the laughing woman, frozen forever in time at a crime scene. She was quite beautiful, and Alex looked up, between Tim and Gibbs.

 _Oh._ She realized.

"I didn't realize you had a copy, boss." Tim said quietly, as Alex passed the photo to Nick.

"Caitlin. It's a nice name. What does it mean?"

"Pure." Rachel and Gibbs answered at the same time, their eyes meeting. She looked away first.

"Yeah Tim," Gibbs turned to him. "You've got a copy?"

Tim opened his desk, and pulled out the framed photo.

"Where's the picture from?" Alex asked.

"I took that photo," Gibbs said with a wry grin. "She was laughing at some dumb joke DiNozzo had told, and right then, I was trying to do crime scene photos… but I took a picture of Kate. She was annoyed, of course. But she was usually annoyed with me. With her team of men."

"One hell of a feminist." Rachel smiled, joining in the remembrance.

Tim chuckled. "Wanted to be seen as just another agent. She could kick my butt any day of the week."

"An artist," Bishop said softly.

When Alex turned to her, she paused, and realized she'd spoken out loud, "Oh! I never met her, but… Abby told me."

"How long has she been… gone?" Nick asked.

"Eleven years. It's been eleven years." Gibbs said it before Tim did, before exchanging another look with him.

"That's a long time ago."

"We made a hell of a team," Tim said fondly.

 **XNCISX**

"Dr. Mallard, who was this Kate chick?" Nick was looking through a photo album Ducky had compiled. It was apparently Ducky's version of a tribute wall, and though Nick knew almost no one in the album, he had recognized the photo of the former Director Shepard. It had not taken him long to find Special Agent Caitlin Todd. She was only a few pages in, a few dried rose petals pressed between the pages.

Ducky turned, as though he'd seen a ghost. "What?"

"Kate Todd. Worked here eleven years ago. Died in the line of duty."

"I know she died in the line of duty, Special Agent Torres. After all, I was the one to do her autopsy."

"You were?" he was curious.

"For Caitlin, I wouldn't have had anyone else. Not our Caitlin."

"Gibbs seemed pretty torn up about it when we were talking about it."

Ducky took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. "Why did Caitlin come up?"

"Because her sister is working with us."

"Well… ah." Ducky sighed, "We do miss our Caitlin, even after all these years. The death of a team mate is bound to affect people profoundly. Her loss was… significant to NCIS."

Nick just stared, one eyebrow raised. "And significant to Gibbs?"

"Very perceptive, Agent Torres."

"And he's still shook up about it? Sounds serious."

Ducky smiled sadly, "We all miss her, Agent Torres. She was very dear to us."

Torres left, shaking his head, confused as ever.

Ducky looked over toward the autopsy table, remembering again the autopsy, "You're still very special to us, Caitlin."

 **XNCISX**

"Hey Gibbs, how's the boat coming?"

He looked up, and slammed the drawer of his workbench shut, "Quinn." He nodded at her.

"What happened, Gibbs?" she asked, watching him work on the boat.

"What do you mean?"

"Kate," she said softly, "What happened, Gibbs?"

Gibbs leaned, his head pressed against the boat, "He targeted her. Ari Haswari. And he killed her. Because of me."

"And?" She knew how it feel to lose a partner, Gibbs knew this. But somehow, it went deeper with Agent Todd's untimely demise.

"I loved her."

"I assume you avenged her?"

"He died right where you're standing. But it didn't bring her back." His voice was bitter.

"I'd imagine it affected you all."

She stared, the hurt showing plainly on his face. He reached for his bourbon, and gestured for her to grab a drink. "McGee and Tony spent hours searching for one damn casing. Abby cried for the first time in years. I had never seen Ducky so sad. But then, he did the autopsy."

She looked at him, "And you?"

"I tried to hunt down the bastard. And I found him." There was no joy in his voice. He set down his bourbon, and leaned against the boat again. "

"I can't imagine anyone hurting your family and walking away."

"He didn't."

He took a deep breath.

"She was more than family, Alex."

He refused to look at her, so instead she looked away, taking her bourbon, and leaning against the boat beside him. She understood now.

"I still miss her. After all these years. My Katie. And now that DiNozzo's gone…. I don't want us to forget her. But every day I lose her a little more. And there's gonna be a day I'll wake up and not remember what her laugh sounded like, or how many freckles she had across her nose…." He sighed, "And then it'll be like she died all over again."

"Ellie told me you disappear every May 24 with roses and extra coffees. Is it because of her?"

He looked up at her, his eyes flickering with the ghost of the woman he loved. "First I go to the rooftop where I watched her die. And then I go see her. Roses were her favorite."

"And even after all this time, you still love her?"

"Of course, Quinn. You don't meet someone like her every day."

"Where is she, Gibbs? I'd like to meet her." What she didn't say was _I want to see the woman who haunts your thoughts._

"You got a free weekend? I'll show you someday."

"Sounds good." She turned to leave, "Thanks for the bourbon."

"Quinn?"

She turned, halfway up the stairs, "What?"

"Why?"

"Because I saw your face today. And if she's that special… well she's family."

He paused, and ducked his head, "Yeah."

She turned and left, and he heard the door close. He sighed, opening his eyes, and looking around the basement. There was the boat, half-finished. A bottle of bourbon. And then, reassured he was alone, he reopened the drawer he'd closed when Quinn had arrived.

He pulled out the blue sweater, soft with use and worn, and still faintly smelling of Kate. She had left that sweater in her desk, and it reminded him of the submarine.

 _When they had crashed into each other, on the sub, the effect of a healthy young agent crashing into him was breathtaking. In more than one way._

 _And she was staring up at him, just as breathless from the impact as he was._

 _And on impulse he reached one arm around her, holding her securely as the sub shuddered around them, and the other cupped the back of her head. She leaned in a bit, and their lips touched. It was like electricity, her lips against his, and she was suddenly his everything._

 _Just the way it was meant to be._

 _He pulled away._

 _She breathlessly stared up at him, looking slightly dazed, "Wow," she murmured._

 _"_ _Yeah, that's what they all tell me." He'd been kidding, but he laughed as he said it._

 _She smirked, rolled her eyes, and pushed him away._

He inhaled the scent of roses and coffee from the shirt. He had been the one to clean out Kate's desk. He had been the one to mourn silently as he looked through the objects that made up a life.

And now, here he was, eleven years later, his face still buried in her shirt, his mind still on her.

He sat, leaning against the workbench, and held the shirt to his chest. "I'm here without you, Kate. I miss you, ya know?"

He pictured her sarcastically leaning against the boat and parroting his own words back to him, " _Ya think, Gibbs?"_ Leroy Jethro Gibbs was a man with a lot of ghosts. Though this ghost was the only one he wanted. He would give anything to have her back.

"I love you Katie. That hasn't changed."

He walked over to the boat, staring at it. "I think I just found out what I'm calling this boat."

He smelled the rose petals and coffee around him, and smiled at the boat.

 _Caitlin._


End file.
